So finally, after about a month of waiting to see who would be getting the senior position at work, a decision was finally made... and it wasn't me. I had my panel interviews Thursday and surprisingly, they chose that afternoon (I got my feedback that day as well) and announced the new senior yesterday. I have mixed feelings about it.
On one hand, relief: I felt that there was only one real benefit to the position compared to what would be a more stressful time at work. On the other, I feel that I could have done well at the position once I did all the necessary front desk training and gotten used to it. I need to expand my skills so that I do have more to offer to my current job and to future jobs which this position would have provided that. I was given a lot of flowery BS about why they felt that it wasn't the right time for me to be the senior but that I was invaluable to how things run in the back; I felt pretty insulted at the insinuations in some of the feedback from the interviews. I do really like the co-worker who got the position and think she'll do a great job.
But after almost two years in this position, with no apparent growth in sight, I feel it's time to move on. During this past month while waiting for these second interviews, I've been job hunting and now I feel that this has been the correct course of action. It's likely that people might think I'm leaving because I didn't get the position but I really do not care if they do; I need to do what it best for me.
And because of this, I re-applied to the community college I used to go to. I've been talking about going back to the school for a while now and finally just decided to go for it. Since I applied late afternoon yesterday, I probably won't know until Monday if I got in. I'm hoping to start during the summer, and will (hopefully) be taking classes towards a bookkeeping certificate. Not that exciting, but I always was good with numbers. It's also online and only 31 credits so if I took a full course load, I could be done by the winter or spring quarter. I also will be trying to take Japanese as well, for fun and I have a goal of taking the JLPT next year. I'm actually very excited about the possibility of taking classes again and hope this works out.
It's time for me to make opportunities for myself and get ready for and move onto the next stage of my life.